Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Where's my Light-Saber?

***Truly, I did not mean for funny stories of my kids to take over this blog... even though that's kind of why I created it. I had planned on writing some deep stuff on occasion. Alas, the kids win.***

Ok, this may take the cake for Funny Things Said in the Allison Household this week.

As I was cleaning the boys' room just now, the 3 kids were watching a movie on Abbey's bed. (What's wrong with this picture, I ask you?) Suddenly, I heard a blood-curdling scream, and in ran Lincoln, crying and holding his face.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Lukie hurt my face" he said.

I scooped him into my arms and tried to console him. I knew he was very tired and was basically waiting for me to finish vacuuming so he could go to bed.

He sat in my arms in great distress for a few moments before he said, in reluctant exasperation:

"I gotta find my light-saber and go destroy him."

Dramatic pause.

"What did you just say?"

He started wearily trying to get up out of my lap and in a look-what-he-made-me-do-now-attitude he said again "I have to find my light-saber and go destroy him."

I burst out laughing.

He wiped the tears from his face, put his hand on my mouth, looked me dead in the eye and said "That's not very funny."

Oh, yes, Lincoln. Yes, it is.

[As I was writing this, Abbey came down to tell me goodnight and started reading what I had written. She looked up at me with indignation. "Console him? Seriously?" I looked at her, puzzled at what her problem was with me saying that. "I don't even know what that word means... but seriously?" "Great" I said, "Now I'm going to have to add THAT to my blog."]

Speaking of Abbey... last week we were watching Nashville Star and it was showing the audition process and all the different types of people who try to make it through. It started showing various military men and Abbey got really emotional when one didn't make it through. Abbey said "Oh, I feel so sorry for the soldiers who DON'T make it – it must be heartbreaking. I mean, they just came from a heartbreaking war and then come back HERE and get their heart broken!" This was said with much angst and drama.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

My kids strike again...

Just today I braved three separate stores with three kids in tow for 4 hours... looking for the elusive swimsuit that would miraculously make me look like a size 2... ah heck, who am I kidding? I'd take any other size at this point.

My kids behaved so well that I decided they must have been in shock having seen me in various stages of contortion while trying on suits.

To reward them, I took them swimming for several hours to cap off the day.

My oldest, Abbey, looked at me at one point and asked if i ever wore a bikini (in stark contrast to the MUMU I currently opted for). I answered "Oh, yeah... before I had kids."

Her answer? "Oh, so WE made you fat?" The minute the words were out of her mouth, she recanted with "Not that you are fat now, mama. Really. Seriously. You look good."

Out of the mouth of babes.

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The other day, Abbey and I were cooking breakfast together and she used a word that startled me - only because I couldn't figure out how she even new the meaning of it. I asked her how she knew what that meant and she said "because I just listen to it". She went on to add "It's just like in the 'Nancy Drew' movie... I knew that 'sleuthing' had to mean 'solving a mystery'."

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Lincoln has pretty much cracked me up all summer so far. Today, while I was shopping for swimsuits, I mentioned out loud that I might need a bigger size in one of the prospects and Lincoln looked around in surprise and said "Why, mama? You're not bigger - you're little!"

As we entered the last store for the day, I bypassed the shopping stroller because I just wanted to hurry but Lincoln protested that he wanted one. I said nah, to just come on... but he stopped and looked at me with the most confused look in his BIG brown eyes and said "But, mama, it's me, Lincoln! I'm your baby boy!" Of course, I had to turn around and get him one. I'm a sap.

Lastly for Lincoln today: While we were in the pool, he kept coming up and kissing me and doing something else that felt strange to my face. I said "Lincoln, what ARE you doing?" He responded very matter-of-factly "I'm licking your nose." WHY??? "Because it's delicious!" Okkkkaaaayyy.

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Luke is a man/child of few words. It's his actions that crack me up. He is really into his hair right now, and has spent many, many minutes combing it down onto his forehead into a rather odd style. We noticed just lately that there is a HUGE chunk of his hair MISSING from the middle of his bangs. When asked if he cut his hair, he responded with an all-too-fast "NO!" like we were insane to even ponder such a thought. I took him and Lincoln to get their hair cut today because it was wet with sweat just walking from the van to the store. He was a perfect angel the entire time his hair was getting cut and as soon as it was over he stared at his hair and face for quite a long time, turning from right to left and really inspecting it. He kept trying in vain to smooth the inch or so of hair he had left down onto his forehead. After a few vain attempts, he finally turned to me and proclaimed "Mom, I don't like my hair like this. Can we just put it back on?" :)

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I feel like I am leaving a lot out, but it's late and this will have to do. 8, 6 and 4 are the best ages. I really wish I could freeze them like this.